Appreciate your full-time housewife

Salam...

Hari ini seharian aku tidak berjogging dan brisk walking disebabkan hujan pagi dan petang. Aktiviti aku hanya banyak membuang masa tercongok di hadapan TV.

Hendak melakukan blogwalking, broadband aku telah exceed limit pula. Internet jadi terlalu perlahan.

Banyak juga ingin aku coretkan ke dalam blog ini termasuklah hasil perjumpaan aku dengan guru Penyelia Petang sekolah anak aku yang ponteng 3 hari berturut-turut. Oleh kerana, masalah internet connection yang terlalu perlahan, terpaksalah aku tangguhkan update aku tentang perjumpaan tersebut.

Untuk memastikan bahawa blog aku ini sentiasa ada update, aku release satu post yang berada di dalam que untuk publish.

Mungkin anda pernah membacanya sebelum ini di laman web atau blog lain tetapi aku rasa elok juga aku paparkan sebagai ulangan yang berulang-ulang...hehehe (berapa banyak ulang daaa...?).

Kandungan E-mail ini aku terima dari seorang wanita.

A man was SICK and TIRED of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
And further jealous of her, as she received lot of Women's Day wishes and compliments
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.Amen!"

Poof!!!

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose,

cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast,

Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,

Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced the check book...

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 1.00pm 

And he hurried to make the beds... 

...do the laundry... 

vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor... 

...Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and... 

...got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, 

set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30pm, he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad... 

..rolled meatballs and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher..

...Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. At 9.00pm

He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love,

which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said

"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!"

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait NINE MONTHS, though. You got pregnant last night."

GO AHEAD, SEND THIS TO A WOMAN
WHO NEEDS A GOOD BELLY LAUGH
AND TO A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT !!!

Aku harap anda enjoy membaca dan melihat gambar-gambarnya. Nanti-nanti kita lihat pula jawapan e-mail yang bertema sama dari orang lelaki pula...hehehe

Sekian.

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absent from school?

Salam...

Marah! Geram! Tension! Semua benda-benada negatif bersarang di kepala aku pada ketika itu! Tak pasal-pasal muka aku jadi merah menyala! Nafas aku pula jadi tidak teratur...

Kenapa? Kenapa? Cer citer..cer citer..

Anak aku ponteng sekolah! Sudah 3 hari berturut-turut dia ponteng!

Kalau aku ikutkan hati yang panas baran mencungap ini, mahu berbirat belakang dia aku rotan!

Sebelumnya, aku telah dikejutkan oleh satu panggilan telefon dari guru kelas anakku bertanya dan mengatakan bahawa dia telah tidak hadir ke sekolah selama 3 hari berturut-turut! Yang peliknya, dalam tempoh masa 3 hari tersebut, dia keluar rumah seperti waktu biasa dia pergi ke sekolah dan pulang pula seperti mana orang lain pulang dari sekolah. Rupa-rupanya, dia melencong ke tempat lain bersama rakan-rakannya yang turut sama memontengkan diri.

Ke mana dia pergi?

Berseronok-seronok bermain game di Cyber Cafe!

Selepas menerima panggilan dari guru tersebut, aku bergegas pulang. Pada awalnya hendak juga aku merotannya agar tidak mengulangi perbuatannya itu dan juga supaya menjadi teladan kepada adik-adiknya.

Setibanya aku di rumah, aku lihat dia berlari mencicit masuk ke biliknya. Mungkin takut melihat aku. Dia mungkin tahu rahsianya telah terbongkar.

Aku menarik nafas dalam-dalam dan menghembuskannya secara perlahan-lahan. Kemudiannya, aku mengambil wuduk dan menunaikan solat sunat 2 rakaat. Selesai solat, barulah hati aku menjadi lebih tenang tetapi masih ada sedikit perasaan geram.

Aku panggil anakku itu.

Dia terkulat-kulat di hadapanku dengan tangan menggeletar. Tunduk dan tidak berani memandang mataku.

Soalan pertama yang aku tanya, "Dah makan belum?". Dia menjawab ringkas, "Sudah Abah". Aku bertanya lagi, "Dah solat Zohor belum?". Dia menjawab, "Belum Abah". Mukanya masih tunduk dan matanya tidak berani memandang mataku. "Ok, pergi solat dulu, lepas tu datang sini jumpa Abah". Dengan segera dia menurut perintah.

Selesai solat, dia bergegas bertemu aku di bilikku.

Ada apa-apa hendak cerita pada Abah?

"Abang tak pergi sekolah 3 hari berturut-turut".

Kenapa?

"Takut. Cikgu marah."

Kenapa pula cikgu hendak marah?

"Kerja rumah tak siap."

Kenapa tak siap?

"Tak tahu nak buat."

Ada tanya cikgu?

"Tak ada. Takut nak tanya cikgu. Dia marah-marah."

Kawan-kawan?

"Kawan-kawan tak nak tolong."

Kenapa? Dan dia diam seribu bahasa.

Lepas ni nak sekolah lagi tak?

"Nak Abah."

Habis tu? Kerja sekolah tu tak siap macamana? Dan dia diam lagi.

OK.. Hari Isnin ini, Abah nak abang pergi sekolah, jumpa cikgu abang tu dan minta tolong macamana hendak buat dan siapka kerja tu.

"Baik Abah."

Aku teruskan lagi memberikan nasihat. Aku apply apa jua teknik motivasi yang selalu aku lakukan ketika memberikan ceramah motivasi semasa aku menjadi facilitator Biro Tata Negara (BTN). Aku bermain dengan kata-kata. Aku buaikan perasaannya. Aku hamburkan kesedihanku, aku gambarkan kekecewaanku. dan dia menangis teresak-esak.

Aku tidak tahu dari mana datangnya kekuatan diriku melawan sifat amarahku dan mengelakkan anakku itu dari menjadi mangsa belasahanku.

Baru tingkatan satu sudah pandai ponteng sekolah mengikut kawan-kawan berseronok di Cyber Cafe!

Yang membuatkan aku kecil hati ialah dia berbohong.

Di akhir sessi kaunseling yang pada awalnya aku ingin jadikan sessi pemberian hukuman, dia memelukku erat-erat menangis sambil berjanji tidak akan mengulangi lagi kesalahannya itu.

Rasa kecewa aku sebenarnya masih belum hilang walaupun telah susut dengan banyaknya. Hari Isnin ini aku terpaksa pula pergi ke sekolah anakku itu untuk mengadap guru sekolah tersebut untuk sessi muzakarah dan mungkin juga penyampaian cenderamata yang berupa surat amaran kepada anakku itu.

Entahlah...aku seperti keliru dan tidak tahu untuk berbuat apa-apa. Harapanku cuma dia akan benar-benar insaf akan kesalahannya dan tidak mengulanginya sepertimana dia berjanji.

Apakah tindakan aku itu betul? Apakah aku patut menghukumnya pada waktu itu?

Apakah pandangan anda semua?



 Sekian.

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I'm damned rich!

Salam...

Yeahhhhh...I'm damned RICH!!

Kenapa?

Tak percaya?

E-mail di bawah ini menjadi bukti. Silalah baca...

Dear Sir/Madam,

How are you today, hope fine. Please this is an invitation for partnership.Can you in all sincerity partner with me?it is legal and 100% risk free.

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $10.6 million US Dollars. In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in a Car Bomb Blast in Iraq.

Since his supposed next of kin died along side with him at the Bomb blast, there is nobody to claim the left over balance in the account. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my department decided to seek your assistance and present you to the bank as his Next of kin.

If you accept I would give you the guidelines of how we can achieve this transfer of the balance (10.6Million Dollars) to your account, And we will share the money 50-50%.

I expect that you will give me your telephone and fax numbers for easy communication with you and for more details.

Best Regards
Mr Ahmed Bello

Sorry guys..

Menyampah banyak e-mail macam ni yang masuk dalam inbox aku. So, saja hendak share dengan anda semua.. Semoga berhati-hati agar tidak terlibat dengan SCAM!!

Sekian.

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I am happyyyyyyyy

Salam...

Hari ini aku happy. Hatiku begitu berbunga-bunga. Sebabnya, esok orang yang jauh di mata akan ada terpampang di depan mata...yeaahooooooo..!!

Kerana happy punya pasal, aku akan berikan sesuatu yang aku kira amat berharga dan diperlukan oleh bekas staff aku iaitu template Business Continuity Plan (BCP). Cuma aku akan bagi rangka sahaja. Daging, urat, lelemak dan kulit kena lah cari dan tambah sendiri...hehehe.

Ni haa dia...!

A. Table of Contents

B. STATEMENT OF MISSION

What objectives do you wish to accomplish? Be specific

C. MANAGEMENT ENDORSEMENT LETTER

You must gain management endorsement to have a successful plan

D. Part I - STANDARD DISASTER RECOVERY POLICIES

1. Introduction

a. The full scope and objectives of the plan

b. Project background description

2. Establish Key Personnel and Form Emergency Teams

a. EMT - Emergency Management Team (Including HR)

b. DAT - Damage Assessment Team (Including Security)

c. SMT - Senior Management Team

d. BURs - Business Unit Representatives

3. Form / Negotiate Joint-Powers Agreements

e. External Vendor Contacts, Agencies , & Community Reps

1. Upstream and Downstream Suppliers

2. Police, Fire, EMTs, Public Health

3. Police, CDC, and other Government Agencies

4. Assign Damage, Emergency and Other Team Responsibilities

a. SMT - Senior Management Team

b. EMT - Emergency Management Team (Including HR)

c. DAT - Damage Assessment Team

d. Various Business Unit Team &/or Union Leaders

e. Key Emergency Contacts

1. Fire, Police, Medical

2. Suppliers / Vendors

3. CDC, Public Health, etc.

5. Internal and External Risk Analysis

a. Internal Risks (Natural and Man-made)

b. External Risks (Natural and Man-made)

c. IT and Physical Security Risks

d. Employee / Family / Community Risks (Including Bio-Chem)

6. Define Various Disaster Possibilities

a. Disaster Types (Natural & Man-made)

b. Projected / Anticipated Losses

1.Severity (Consider Bio Epidemic)

2. Overall Impact (Consider Govt.-imposed Quarantine)

7. Business Impact Analysis (BIA)

a. Business Unit Operations

b. Information Systems /Telecommunications

c. Physical and Human Infrastructure

d. Home Office / Regional & Satellite Operations

8 Disaster Mitigation Programs / Security Analysis

a. Standard Operational Analysis

b. Special Mitigation Programs for Staff / Families / Community

9. Disaster Mitigation, Recovery and Relocation Strategies

a. Specific Type Event Mitigation (Include Bio-Chem)

b. Critical Information Recovery Process

c. Employee, Operations Relocation Process (Include Bio-Chem)

1. Hot or Cold Sites

2. Mirroring IT operations

3. Home-office Options, etc.

a. Consider "Shelter-in-Place" Possibilities

1. On-Site / Off-Site

2. Govt. Commandered Facilities (for Bio-event)

d. Health exams / physical exams (if necessary for Bio-event)

1. Include Exec and Staff Travel Overseas

2. Include Temp and Loaned Employees

e. Business Recovery/Continuity Activities (Include Bio-Chem)

1. Consider Home-office / Supplies benefits

2. Consider Wireless Laptops and Various Comm Devices

10. Employee and Community Awareness and Training Programs

a. Meetings / Workshops for Employees, Families, Community

b. Emergency Team Training (Include C.E.R.T. program)

c. Employee Training Programs

d. Other Training Activities (Include C.E.R.T. program for Community)

11. Disaster Response and Recovery Programs (Including Restoration)

a. Immediate Crisis Response Programs (Include Employees, Families, Community)

1. Determine Employee / Families Condition

2. Joint-powers Govt. / Private Agency Contacts

3. Initiate Insurance Followup / Coverage

4. Creditor Contacts

5. Employee Disaster Benefits / Supplies

6. Community Contact and Assistance

b. Internal / External Damage Assessment Programs

c. Prioritize Salvage and Cleanup Needs

1. Consider possible decontamination (from Bio-Chem)

d. Immediate to Long-Term Recovery Operations

1. Vendor / Supplier / Customer Contacts

2. Maintain or Reestablish Web Presence

e. Facility / Equipment Restoration Programs

12. Documentation and Update Schedule for the Plan

a. Policies / Procedures / Forms for Documentation

b. Required Documentation Format for Company and Agencies

c. Update Authority / Requirements / Timing /

13. Distribution List & Policies / Procedures (Consider Proprietary Confidentiality)

a. Distribution Policies

b. Distribution Procedures

14. BCP Testing Schedule

a. Testing Polices / Procedures

b. Calendar

15. Plan Maintenance Policies and Schedule

a. Policies and Procedures to Maintain BCP

b. Updating / Maintenance Calendar

16. Budget and Funding Procedures

a. Policies and Procedures

b. BC Plan Budgeting / Controls

c. Financial Records

17. Key Records, Assets, and Other Inventory

a. IT / Mission Critical Data (Include Web Presence for Customer/Vendor Contact)

b. Paper vs. Digital Data / Records

c. Communication Networks / Systems

1. Consider Wireless and Walkie-Talkies for Human Rescue
and/or Asset Coordination

2. Consider "Carrier-class" Communications Outsourcing

a. Employee / Families / Community Notification

b. Key Customer / Vendor / Supplier Notification

d. Security and Building Infrastructure

e. Key Customer Lists / Data

f. Mission-Critical Machinery

18. Inventory Needs

a. Create "emergency stock" levels or maintain just-in-time levels

b. Determine automated / robotic vs. human input / control

19. Furniture, Office Equipment

a. Recovery vs. Restoration

b. Decontamination

20. Office vs. Manufacturing / Warehouse Space

a. Recovery vs. Restoration

b. Decontamination

21. Insurance Needs

a. Human and Physical Infrastruture

b. Workman's Comp

21. Recovery of Voice, Data, and Other IT Systems

a. Data vs. Tele-Communications Recovery Questions / Solutions

b. Physical Comm-Equipment Infrastructure Recovery Questions / Solutions

d. Unique Comm-System Recovery Questions / Solutions

E. PART II - RESPONSE / RECOVERY& RESTORATION NEEDS

1. Introduction

2. Emergency Teams and Key Employee Responsibilities

3. Planned / Anticipated Response and Recovery Strategies / Guidelines

4. Emergency Declaration Guidelines

a. Staff Members Authorized to Declare a Disaster

1. Include at Least 3 Tiers

b. Criterion for Disaster Declaration

5. Expected Recovery Time-Frames (hours to days)

a. 1-3 Hours From Notification (Immediate Priority)

b. 4-12 Hours From Notification (Mid-level Priority)

c. 13-24 Hours After Being Notified

d. 25-72 Plus Hours After Being Notified

1. Consider Bio-Chem Quarantine That Could Heavily Affect Human Infrastructure / Productivity / Customer Service

6. Specific Actions / Responsibilities For Disaster Response

a. Initial Assessment of Disaster / Damage

b. Crisis Management in Place (Emergency Operations Center)

c. Employee Evacuation or Shelter-in-Place

d. Assess Physical Infrastructure Damage

e. Mitigation of Circumstances

f. Prioritize Response

g. Additional Response

1. Families / Community Assistance

2. Disaster Supplies Distribution

7. Specific Response for Disaster Recovery Activities

a. Prioritization of Response / Strategies Enacted

b. Telecomm & IT Systems Recovery Response

c. Staff Shelter-in-Place / Quarantine / Relocation and/or Reactivation Response

d. Reactivate Business Process According to Set Priorities / Available Resources

e. Recovery of Business Units (prioritized by Recovery Plan Stratagies)

f. Cut Losses Decision Time

8. Specific Recovery Actions - Restoration of Infrastructure

a. Prioritize Response

b. Restore Business Units Process

c. Reactivate Communications / IT / Web Systems

d. Employees Allowed to Return to Facilities (or Not)

e. Business Unit Restoration Plans (based on Restoration Activities)

9. Post-Recovery Activities

a. Review BCP (Plan vs. Actuality)

b. Update BCP (Based on Lessons Learned or New Information)

F. Appendices

1. Disaster Emergency Teams

2. Disaster Recovery Teams

3. Key Suppliers / Vendors

4. Communications Service Provider and Outsourcing

5. Disaster Supply Houses

6. Insurance Policies and Brokers

7. Creditor Contacts

8. Key Valuable Customers / Clients

9. Special Emergency Forms for Human / Physical Infrastructure

10. Restoration / Recovery Support Agreements

11. Disaster Supply Checklists

12. Joint-Cooperative Agency and Private-sector Agreements

13. Glossary / BCP Terms

Sebenarnya juga aku rasa terpanggil ingin membantu bekas staff aku itu yang bertarung mengekalkan jawatannya kerana dihimpit oleh lalang-lalang yang semakin menggatal dan meninggi. Lagi pula beliau pernah beberapa kali meminta template dariku, cuma aku perlu memilih masa yang sesuai.

Kenapa pula aku sanggup memaparkannya di blog ini. Main reason is that lalang-lalang itu sudah tentu tidak akan membaca blog aku ini. Ye lah kan, mereka itu orang yang hebat-hebat dan tahu segala perkara dan sudah tentu tidak akan mengambil apa-apa maklumat dari blog aku yang tiada value ini...hmmmm.

So, bro...gunakanlah template tersebut sebaik mungkin.

Sekarang ini aku cuma ingin lekas-lekas masuk tidur kerana tidak sabar menunggu hari esok..ish..ish..ish...

Ohhhhhhh....happynya aku!!

Sekian.

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Blog aku rojak?

Salam...

Rojak? Sedap tu. Paling best bila pekena rojak mamak dan dibilas pula dengan cendol tapai..ish..ish..ish, terliur. Selepas itu makan pula rojak petis dengan perbanyakkan nanas dan buah kedondong serta sambalnya yang dibuat extra pedas...adoi ai!

Bila kepedasan dan cendol pun telah habis, terpaksalah minum air mineral untuk meredakannya.

Jangan minum air paip sudah!...hehehe.

Maafkan aku kerana melalut.

Sebenarnya, aku ingin membuat coretan tentang tawaran istemewa mempromosikan blog anda secara percuma yang dibuat oleh saudara Peja @ http://www.faizalsyukri.com.

Di antara syarat-syarat yang beliau tetapkan ialah anda perlu mengklasifikasikan atau melabelkan blog anda di dalam satu kategori khusus iaitu samada:

1. Kategori Peribadi: Blog kengkawan mempunyai artikel yang 100% berkenaan diri anda.
2. Kategori Perniagaan: Blog anda fokus kepada hal perniagaan walaupun ade juga artikel-artikel lain.
3. Kategori Ilmu dan Info: Blog anda mempunyai pelbagai ilmu bermanfaat seperti tips, teknik, pendidikan, agama, resepi dan lain-lain.
4. Kategori Rojak: Blog anda sememangnya bercampur-campur pelbagai perisa.

Aku ulangi, anda diminta untuk memilih hanya satu kategori sahaja.

Setelah berfikir semasak-masaknya, aku terpaksa juga menerima hakikat bahawa blog aku ini sememangnya sebuah blog di dalam kategori ROJAK. Apa tidaknya, di sini ada cerita tentang ATM, SOP, Personal, Tutorial Blog, Business, Self Improvement dan beberapa jenis coretan lagi termasuklah lawak dan sindiran. Mungkin lagi sesuai jika dilabel sebagai rojak petis kerana ada juga coretan yang pedas-pedas..hehehe.

Kepada sesiapa yang berminat untuk mendapat promosi secara percuma, sila lawati blog Peja tersebut. Anda boleh klik banner di atas untuk terus diarahkan ke sana atau klik sahaja gambar "tucen" di bawah dan ia akan terbang membawa anda ke sana juga...hehehe.

Picture sourced from http://fc09.deviantart.net/

Menurut Peja, tawaran ini hanya dibuka untuk beberapa hari sahaja, so, bergegaslah ke sana dan mendaftar dengan segera.

Well, aku juga ingin mengambil peluang tersebut dan telahpun mendaftar. No harm trying. Lagipun ianya percuma. Mana tahu selepas ini blog aku akan menjadi lebih famous daripada blog penghantar e-mail tentang recognition tu...hehehe, just kidding.

Ok semua. Masa untuk beriadah sambil mencari penjual rojak dan cendol tapai.

Bye bye



Sekian.

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